One morning around 2005 I was resting in my royal bed stimulating my brain by listening to an Iyanla Vanzant cassette. Yes I said cassette most of you know what that is stop pretending. Iyanla mentioned how we struggle with our identity because we are told who we are at birth. We are given a name, told what to eat, how to dress, what to think, and who to become.
This became a point to ponder for me and I consciously vowed to guide my children in the direction of making their own life choices as they cognitively grew older. I pursued this new found way of living passionately by asking questions like what kind of vegetables they wanted for dinner because everyone does not like green peas. What shoes or outfit they wanted to wear if it did not match eventually they would learn how to coordinate. Who they wanted to be in the world because maybe being an entrepreneur is not their destiny. I also presented them with the option to change their names. Yes I know some of you may this this is a tad bit drastic. Well they decided against the name change because I gave them pretty dope World stage names.
I did my best not to over-react when they would share their wild dreams of tattoos and piercings because I did not want to stifle their imagination or creativity. At one point one of my children wanted to become a tattoo artist. I used reversed psychology instead of giving them a negative reaction I would ask questions like “what kind of tattoo would you get? What colors? Where would you get the piercing? Thank goodness it worked. Currently no one has tattoos. I have no idea what they may decide later for themselves. After all they are innovative humans.
Living out loud is an expression of supporting your child to be an individual.
Living out loud means allowing them to walk to the rhythm of their own heart. Giving them permission to be thought leaders who can grow into adults that know how to make healthy decisions, core value choices without depending on you to always choose for them. Neither
depend on friends opinions that could lead them down the rabbit hole. It is not healthy for children to live in the shadow or a past tense dream of a parent unless it is their choice. Yes I know we all want what is best for our children but keep in mind that sometimes what is best for you may not be best for them.
God made us magical and different and do not forget he granted each one of us Free Will. Therefore as a parent we must follow the Grand Leader and do the same for our children. Are there some limits Yes. However this teaches your child what freedom and peace really mean and what it has to offer.